bye. grudges, part 2.

I wrote earlier this year about grudges (see Grudges make smudges. ) and the energy they can deplete from your being. A grudge will hold your joy hostage before you ever knew what happened. Now that I am (one year older. one year wiser.), I have learned even more about the long-term effects these grudging ailments will have on your health. They are not worth your time, only your goodbye!

The day will come, even after you have diligently “spring-cleaned” your heart of any known grudges, that an old grudge will bubble to the surface. It may be older than your grandma, but still feel as fresh as a new baby. DO NOT STRESS! This horrifying, and possibly embarrassing, moment of recollection is NOT a sign of early onset dementia or temporary insanity.

I struggle to identify the revealing source sometimes, but if it is the work of the enemy, I am certain that God can turn that evil to good. He can use the upsetting memory as a way to prune you, to cleanse your mind of hateful thoughts and shameful memories, and ultimately draw you closer to Him. These blasts-from-the-past may be brought to light because they are a barrier between you and God. Ouch! Let it go, sister!

There is a catch. He only heals what we reveal. Anywhere that our hearts have hardened, the LORD can renew and refurbish, but only if we are willing to acknowledge our wrongdoings and repent. God forgives all things. We must just ask Him.

“The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him.” – Psalm: 103:8-11, ESV

Read these words of assurance again, and again. Know that God loves you and will forgive you. Know that his grace and his mercy extend further than your eye can see and your mind can comprehend. Know also that God only wants His best for His children. He corrects us in love, so that we can grow closer to Him and the perfection He planned for us.

Take heed of this spoiler alert: this is where the enemy enters the scene:

“Be sober-minded: be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8, ESV

What? Ole Pete just put “lions and tigers and bears, oh my!” to shame! Total stalker status.

YOUR ADVERSARY (as in someone against you) is prowling around just looking for someone to destroy. In the words of my mother, “Horrors!” He is just watching and waiting for a chance to prance on you, to catch you when you are down and not on your guard. What better opportunity for his attack than when you are pouting about getting scolded?

Although it may feel like God is defining your impurity, He is actually refining your purity.

Hang in there, and remember that trials will come. We will be tempted and tested, and we will stumble and fall. By the grace of God, stand back up and seek His forgiveness. Repent and let it go! His love covers all things, even the dreadful grudges we may hold.

 ESV = English Standard Version Bible




Do you ever feel like you are on autopilot in life? Perhaps you are going through the motions without much thought to your actions? Maybe this lasts for a day or a week or even an entire season? Regardless of the length of time spent in this auto mode, the awakening results are the same. You realize that you have gotten from point A to point B with little recollection of your journey. What a strange feeling it is.

I have buzzed through many seasons on autopilot and hated the remorse for days past that ensue. This year during Lent, I have aimed to slow life down and focus my attention on Christ. I long to see more than ‘Fish Fridays’ and ’40 days without’ this year, to turn off autopilot and engage fully in the Lenten season. Who knows what all I have missed in years past?

I want to see the events of Holy Week come alive before my eyes and feel the nearness of Jesus along this journey. This season I have chosen to follow an adapted Lenten discipline suggested by my pastor, titled: Once a Day, Once a Week, and Once a Month.

  • Once a Day: take a few moments for prayer and devotion, quiet time spent with God
  • Once a Week: fast from a meal or a pastime and spend the time in the Word of God
  • Once a Month: fast from whatever forms of information or technology distract you from others for a whole day

Two weeks in, and I am loving this discipline so much that I may keep it going after Easter!

“Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:24, ESV

My “Once a Day” quiet time in the morning has been my favorite part of the day. I have come to crave that quiet and still moment before the day begins to just ‘be’ in God’s presence. Some days I have read an entire passage, some days just a verse. Some days I have journaled, and some days I have not. Most importantly, each day includes some form of prayer with praise and gratitude.

“My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God… Blessed are those who dwell in our house, ever singing your praise!… They go from strength to strength… No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” – Psalm 84:2,4,11b, ESV

“Once a Week” I have chosen to forego television. Instead of watching a beloved (nonsense) show, I have used the time to open my Bible and read. Honestly, it was strange at first, but not anymore! I have enjoyed the peaceful respite from the busyness of the social world and have found myself wanting to replace evening television with reading more often than once a week. The gospel of Mark has completely captivated my attention this Lenten season. I have seen God’s faithfulness and love light up off the pages, as the apostle’s recount of Jesus’ ministry comes to life right in front of me.

Jesus speaks to his disciples about his purpose and ministry on earth: “Is a lamp brought in to be put under a basket, or under a bed, and not on a stand? For nothing is hidden except to be made manifest; nor is anything secret except to come to light. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.” – Mark 4:22-23, ESV

I have learned this Lenten season that God is faithful. God is just. He keeps His Word. He never forgets us. He never loses sight of us. He who loves us can be trusted wholly. 

“The works of His hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy.” – Psalm 111:7, ESV

“He who calls you is faithful…” – 1 Thessalonians 5:24, ESV

ESV = English Standard Version Bible