nap time.

I have never been “good” at sitting still. I like to be doing something. I was the child in school who detested nap time and preferred to be coloring or playing instead.

Little has changed in adulthood for me. With the exceptions of an illness or a beach chair, I seldom nap. I still would rather be doing something more fun, more exciting than taking a boring nap!

Although I have outgrown (and graduated!) from grade school, I have not outgrown spiritual school. God teaches me new things every day, and sometimes we spend more days that I would like to admit reviewing the same lesson. Oh yes, the school of God is no joke! He asks me to recall important information I have already received in order to learn from my mistakes. Some of his lessons make no more sense to me than organic chemistry, and his examination style puts my pharmacy professors to shame!

As if all this were not enough, God also insists that I take nap time. I try to explain that I am “too busy” to stop and nap, but it is no use! I try to argue that I am not even tired, but He disagrees!

Hear the words of our Lord Jesus: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28, ESV

I sometimes do not even realize that I am tired and worn out until I finally stop. I also do not realize how heavy my burden is until I set it down.

Jesus commands us to come to him with our heavy burdens and our worn down souls so that He can give us rest. I hear you Jesus! I sure do not intend to disobey, but I do have a tough time knowing when my burden has become heavy and when I am tired and need rest!

Perhaps you can relate? We live in a culture that never stops and is always looking for the next best thing. It is so easy to get caught up in the social pressure of doing more, being more, going more. However, trying to keep up with the pace of the world brings nothing but frustrations and disappointments. The world will tell us we are not doing enough, but Jesus tells us the opposite. See my previous post for more about living in God’s timing: Standing on an hourglass

Jesus tells us that we are doing enough.. perhaps we are doing too much! Our loads are sometimes far heavier than we are made to carry. The burdens are not intended to be solely ours. Burdens can be anything that we are carrying around: guilt, sin, frustrations, worries, jobs, to-do-lists.

Jesus continues: “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:29-30, ESV

In Jesus’ day, a yoke was a wooden frame joining two animals for pulling heavy loads. It was also a common metaphor within the Jewish community for the religious laws that they were required to observe. There were so many laws to follow that practicing faith had become exhausting. [Remember, that Jesus was born into the Jewish community. Christianity began with His ministry on earth.]

One particular group of Jewish leaders, the Pharisees, were very judgmental and strict about the Jewish laws. Other groups of Jews felt guilty and “heavy burdened” from trying to obey all the laws they imposed to stay in God’s good graces. [See the book of Leviticus for all the many Jewish laws.] Under the Jewish law, the only way that people could receive forgiveness of their sins was by offering sacrifices at the temple, and the priest had to make the sacrifice on their behalf. How exhausting! I would be on a first-name basis with the temple priests for sure from going so often!

Jesus offers a lighter yoke, an easier way to do life. He tells the people to come to Him [instead of the temple priests] to lay their burdens down. Jesus not only will forgive us for our sins; He will also help us carry our heavy loads with no judgement for what we bring to Him.

Jesus, are you serious?! My loads are embarrassingly heavy, and I really do not want anyone to even see what I am carrying around! He says to bring it anyway!

Jesus wants us to come to Him, is willing to take our burdens, and wants to give us rest. He does so because He loves us, unconditionally and always. 

My hope is that you are able to recognize when you are weary and when your load is too heavy to bear, that you go to Jesus for rest, and that you allow Him to lighten your load. I assure you that He is more than willing to help and is waiting for your arrival!

ESV = English Standard Version Bible

bye. grudges, part 2.

I wrote earlier this year about grudges (see Grudges make smudges. ) and the energy they can deplete from your being. A grudge will hold your joy hostage before you ever knew what happened. Now that I am (one year older. one year wiser.), I have learned even more about the long-term effects these grudging ailments will have on your health. They are not worth your time, only your goodbye!

The day will come, even after you have diligently “spring-cleaned” your heart of any known grudges, that an old grudge will bubble to the surface. It may be older than your grandma, but still feel as fresh as a new baby. DO NOT STRESS! This horrifying, and possibly embarrassing, moment of recollection is NOT a sign of early onset dementia or temporary insanity.

I struggle to identify the revealing source sometimes, but if it is the work of the enemy, I am certain that God can turn that evil to good. He can use the upsetting memory as a way to prune you, to cleanse your mind of hateful thoughts and shameful memories, and ultimately draw you closer to Him. These blasts-from-the-past may be brought to light because they are a barrier between you and God. Ouch! Let it go, sister!

There is a catch. He only heals what we reveal. Anywhere that our hearts have hardened, the LORD can renew and refurbish, but only if we are willing to acknowledge our wrongdoings and repent. God forgives all things. We must just ask Him.

“The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him.” – Psalm: 103:8-11, ESV

Read these words of assurance again, and again. Know that God loves you and will forgive you. Know that his grace and his mercy extend further than your eye can see and your mind can comprehend. Know also that God only wants His best for His children. He corrects us in love, so that we can grow closer to Him and the perfection He planned for us.

Take heed of this spoiler alert: this is where the enemy enters the scene:

“Be sober-minded: be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8, ESV

What? Ole Pete just put “lions and tigers and bears, oh my!” to shame! Total stalker status.

YOUR ADVERSARY (as in someone against you) is prowling around just looking for someone to destroy. In the words of my mother, “Horrors!” He is just watching and waiting for a chance to prance on you, to catch you when you are down and not on your guard. What better opportunity for his attack than when you are pouting about getting scolded?

Although it may feel like God is defining your impurity, He is actually refining your purity.

Hang in there, and remember that trials will come. We will be tempted and tested, and we will stumble and fall. By the grace of God, stand back up and seek His forgiveness. Repent and let it go! His love covers all things, even the dreadful grudges we may hold.

 ESV = English Standard Version Bible



Grudges make smudges.

What happens when we hold a grudge against someone for something they did or didn’t do, or did or didn’t say? Perhaps we hold a grudge against someone for never meeting an unspoken expectation that we had set for them in our minds.

“Guard you heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” – Proverbs 4:23, HCSB

So what’s the big deal about a grudge? It takes up valuable real estate in our hearts, space that could be given to God and used to love someone.. maybe even ourselves. Grudges we hold are not limited to OTHER people. Sometimes we detest some quality or lack thereof about ourselves so very much that we build up feelings of anguish and discontentment that overflows in negative thoughts.

  • “I hate my ___________ [thighs, nose, etc]. I’d be happy if only mine were ______________ [smaller, bigger, thinner, etc].” 
  • If I was a little less / more _________________ [organized, in shape, etc], I’d be so happy!”
  • If only I had _____________ [a husband, a better job, a cleaner house, more time], then I’d be so happy!”

Do any of these sound familiar to you? The if only scenarios seem to be blocking our happiness. But maybe there is something more, something deeper?

Let’s take a step back and really look at these if only thoughts.

  1. Did you get this information from a credible source? That you won’t be happy until you achieve / obtain _____ .
  2. Are any of these goals CONCRETE things that will sustain your happiness, or are they fleeting and temporary feelings?

God knows us and sees us for who we really are. He forgives us of our many shortcomings and imperfections and still loves us anyway. Why do we struggle to forgive and love “as is”?

Perhaps you have some area of brokenness in your life right now. Maybe a relationship in need of mending, a habit you can’t seem to kick, a neglected duty, or just a pile of grudges against someone. God is calling us to look deeper and find those areas where we are withholding forgiveness. Look closely. These grudges may be towards another person, towards God, or even towards yourself. When you find these grudges, give them to God. Allow Him to shine His light on the areas of smudgy darkness. A clean heart is a healed heart. Only God can miraculously erase smudges long engrained on human hearts.

“That light shines in the darkness, yet the darkness did not overcome it.” – John 1:5, HCSB

Let God heal your broken and smudged heart. His light can outshine, overwhelm, and overcome any pain that you have. His laser of love will mend your broken heart and make you whole again.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” – Psalm 139:23-24, HCSB

Annabelle holding a grudge

[HCSB: Holman Christian Standard Bible]