bye. grudges, part 2.

I wrote earlier this year about grudges (see Grudges make smudges. ) and the energy they can deplete from your being. A grudge will hold your joy hostage before you ever knew what happened. Now that I am (one year older. one year wiser.), I have learned even more about the long-term effects these grudging ailments will have on your health. They are not worth your time, only your goodbye!

The day will come, even after you have diligently “spring-cleaned” your heart of any known grudges, that an old grudge will bubble to the surface. It may be older than your grandma, but still feel as fresh as a new baby. DO NOT STRESS! This horrifying, and possibly embarrassing, moment of recollection is NOT a sign of early onset dementia or temporary insanity.

I struggle to identify the revealing source sometimes, but if it is the work of the enemy, I am certain that God can turn that evil to good. He can use the upsetting memory as a way to prune you, to cleanse your mind of hateful thoughts and shameful memories, and ultimately draw you closer to Him. These blasts-from-the-past may be brought to light because they are a barrier between you and God. Ouch! Let it go, sister!

There is a catch. He only heals what we reveal. Anywhere that our hearts have hardened, the LORD can renew and refurbish, but only if we are willing to acknowledge our wrongdoings and repent. God forgives all things. We must just ask Him.

“The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him.” – Psalm: 103:8-11, ESV

Read these words of assurance again, and again. Know that God loves you and will forgive you. Know that his grace and his mercy extend further than your eye can see and your mind can comprehend. Know also that God only wants His best for His children. He corrects us in love, so that we can grow closer to Him and the perfection He planned for us.

Take heed of this spoiler alert: this is where the enemy enters the scene:

“Be sober-minded: be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8, ESV

What? Ole Pete just put “lions and tigers and bears, oh my!” to shame! Total stalker status.

YOUR ADVERSARY (as in someone against you) is prowling around just looking for someone to destroy. In the words of my mother, “Horrors!” He is just watching and waiting for a chance to prance on you, to catch you when you are down and not on your guard. What better opportunity for his attack than when you are pouting about getting scolded?

Although it may feel like God is defining your impurity, He is actually refining your purity.

Hang in there, and remember that trials will come. We will be tempted and tested, and we will stumble and fall. By the grace of God, stand back up and seek His forgiveness. Repent and let it go! His love covers all things, even the dreadful grudges we may hold.

 ESV = English Standard Version Bible

 

 

Grudges make smudges.

What happens when we hold a grudge against someone for something they did or didn’t do, or did or didn’t say? Perhaps we hold a grudge against someone for never meeting an unspoken expectation that we had set for them in our minds.

“Guard you heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” – Proverbs 4:23, HCSB

So what’s the big deal about a grudge? It takes up valuable real estate in our hearts, space that could be given to God and used to love someone.. maybe even ourselves. Grudges we hold are not limited to OTHER people. Sometimes we detest some quality or lack thereof about ourselves so very much that we build up feelings of anguish and discontentment that overflows in negative thoughts.

  • “I hate my ___________ [thighs, nose, etc]. I’d be happy if only mine were ______________ [smaller, bigger, thinner, etc].” 
  • If I was a little less / more _________________ [organized, in shape, etc], I’d be so happy!”
  • If only I had _____________ [a husband, a better job, a cleaner house, more time], then I’d be so happy!”

Do any of these sound familiar to you? The if only scenarios seem to be blocking our happiness. But maybe there is something more, something deeper?

Let’s take a step back and really look at these if only thoughts.

  1. Did you get this information from a credible source? That you won’t be happy until you achieve / obtain _____ .
  2. Are any of these goals CONCRETE things that will sustain your happiness, or are they fleeting and temporary feelings?

God knows us and sees us for who we really are. He forgives us of our many shortcomings and imperfections and still loves us anyway. Why do we struggle to forgive and love “as is”?

Perhaps you have some area of brokenness in your life right now. Maybe a relationship in need of mending, a habit you can’t seem to kick, a neglected duty, or just a pile of grudges against someone. God is calling us to look deeper and find those areas where we are withholding forgiveness. Look closely. These grudges may be towards another person, towards God, or even towards yourself. When you find these grudges, give them to God. Allow Him to shine His light on the areas of smudgy darkness. A clean heart is a healed heart. Only God can miraculously erase smudges long engrained on human hearts.

“That light shines in the darkness, yet the darkness did not overcome it.” – John 1:5, HCSB

Let God heal your broken and smudged heart. His light can outshine, overwhelm, and overcome any pain that you have. His laser of love will mend your broken heart and make you whole again.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” – Psalm 139:23-24, HCSB

ab-grudge
Annabelle holding a grudge

[HCSB: Holman Christian Standard Bible]